Trapped in Flatland
by crematosis
Summary: Albel and Fayt find themselves trapped in a strange world without any walls, ceiling, or floors to be seen. Where are they, how do they get out, and why are there all these strange people around? Featuring characters from FF XII, Naruto, etc.


A/N: I honestly don't think this turned out too well. It's based off a dream I had once…but since it's a story, I have to explain it and try to make it makes sense to you. Of course, not all of you play both Star Ocean and Final Fantasy XII…although you should. Balthier's hot. XD And of course, you don't all watch Naruto and Yami no Matsuei and Death Note. Hopefully you know a couple of the shows/games or it won't make much sense…but maybe you'll like it anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the following games and shows: Death Note, Star Ocean, Yami Not Matsuei, Final Fantasy XII, Naruto.

Albel was very confused. A moment earlier, he had been in the Diplo's kitchen, talking to Fayt. But now…he wasn't sure where he was. Everything was white. The floor, the ceiling, the wall. Albel couldn't be sure that there really were walls since everything blended into a seamless white. But there had to be a floor. After all, he was standing on something.

"Where are we?" Fayt asked nervously.

"Don't ask me, fool," Albel snapped. 'It's obviously your fault. You and your planet's modern technology always gets us in trouble."

Fayt pouted. "I didn't do anything." He paused to think. "Unless it's a malfunction on the ship sending us into nothing-space…kind of like a black hole…but white."

'Just perfect,' Albel sneered. "All your fault, obviously."

"Keep it down, you two," a bored voice drawled.

Albel turned to glare at the man standing close by. "And who are you to give me orders?"

The man shrugged. "I haven't the slightest clue who you are." He eyed Albel. "You don't look very important, my friend."

Albel snorted. "I'm the captain of the Black Brigade."

'Never heard of that," the man murmured. "Part of the Empire, perhaps?"

"You're going to get us both killed," a blonde teen at the man's side hissed.

"It's alright, Vaan," the man murmured. "They're obviously from some place far away."

Albel scowled. 'Why do so many of you from other planets insist on coming to Elicoor?"

"Ah, Elicoor," the man said. He frowned. 'Never heard of that either."

Albel groaned. 'So many infuriating maggots."

"I'm Fayt,' Fayt said softly. "I'm from Terra or Earth. Surely you've heard of that?"

The man said noting to that and instead eyed both Albel and Fayt critically. "My name is Balthier and this is Vaan. It seems both our company and those of the others around us are in a predicament."

"Others?" Fayt asked softly.

"Look around you," Balthier gestured widely at the cluster of men gathered in the featureless white plain. Each group was composed of two boys/men and stood a little apart from the other groups.

Balthier shook his head sadly. "None of us knows very much about the situation, I'm afraid."

"You've been here for awhile then?" Fayt asked.

"Yes. It seems that we all come from very different regions and we're all traveling in pairs. Fancy that."

"Fran and Basch were with us," Vaan reminded Balthier.

'Very well then," Balthier conceded. "We all traveled here in pairs. We have Ryuuzaki and Raito from Japan, Deidara and Sasori who claim to be searching for a hidden village, and Muraki and Tsuzuki. Not sure where they're from. They both insist that they're actually dead."

Albel scowled. "All fools."

Balthier shrugged. "It's not for me to say."

"Balthier, how are we ever going to get out of here?" Vaan grumbled. "There's nothing to do here."

Balthier opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again as a large disembodied hand appeared floating above the collection of men.

"Fancy that," Balthier muttered.

The hand paused and drifted a little lower, clutching a long black pencil. It wrote in neat cursive Balthier's name on the all next to his head. Vann ducked down, but the hand diligently chased him and wrote his name above his head.

The hand next moved on to Albel and Fayt, then Sasori and Deidara and Muraki and Tsuzuki. The hand wrote Raito's name beside his head and then hovered for a moment over Raito's dark-haired companion. At last the hand etched L Lawliet on the wall.

"It would seem we are at the mercy of a god," L muttered.

"So that's your real name?" Raito asked, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

"Yes," L sighed. 'But I prefer Ryuuzaki."

The hand disappeared and returned momentarily and started scribbling a new inscription beneath the names. "Evil" was written under Albel's name.

Albel let out a bark of laughter. 'They don't call me Albel the Wicked for nothing," he purred.

"Good" was written under Fayt's name. Fayt shrugged. The savior of the universe had to be good after all.

The hand continued with making Balthier evil and Vaan good. Balthier smirked. "I'm a sky pirate, after all. It makes perfect sense."

Above Lt's name was written good and above Raito's evil. L looked at the "evil" and then at Raito and back at the word.

Raito crossed his arms over his chest. "That doesn't prove anything you know," he said irritably. 'I'm not Kira."

"But surely if the god knew my name, he must know that you are Kira."

"I'm so sick of arguing with you," Raito snapped, turning his back to L.

The hand quickly sorted Muraki out as evil and Tsuzuki as good. But it had a hard time deciding between Sasori and Deidara. Deidara flashed an exceptionally cute smile and the hand quickly scrawled "good" under his name and "evil" under Sasori's.

The hand moved on and wrote "uke" for anyone who was "good" and 'seme" for anyone who was "evil". Albel, Balthier, and Vaan were the only ones who seemed baffled by these new words. Fayt had turned a shade of deep crimson. Raito was leering at L and L was muttering under his breath, "I knew Raito-kun was Kira. It would only make sense for him to do something so despicable."

"What the hell is that all about?" Albel growled.

'N-nothing," Fayt stammered, reddening further.

Albel eyed him and sniffed disdainfully. "Bah, you're useless."

The hand drew an arrow from each of the uke's names towards the seme's names and wrote "adore".

Albel blinked in surprise as Fayt whispered shyly, "Albel, I want to ask you something."

Albel raised an eyebrow. "What is with you today? So much bizarre behavior."

Balthier too raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the words and then at Vaan. 'So you adore me, eh?"

Vaan looked down at the ground. "Admire would be more like it. I want to be a sky pirate like you."

Tsuzuki smiled happily at Muraki and gave him puppy eyes. Muraki smirked. After all, it was much easier to get what he wanted from a willing man.

The hand drew more arrows pointing from the semes' names to the ukes'. Alongside the arrows it wrote 'desire".

"Do you desire to kill me, Raito-kun?' L asked softly. 'If you are Kira, you now know my real name."

"If I did want to kill you, would you let me?" Raito teased.

"Yes," L said quietly, a slight flush to his pale face.

Raito grinned. 'Well today is your lucky day. I won't kill you. I'll let you live, as long as you agree to become my slave."

"Your slave?" L asked uncertainly.

"Sex slave," Raito clarified, a broad grin stretching across his face.

L's eyes widen and then he smiles shyly. "I accept your offer."

Albel wastes no time with words and just tackles Fayt. Fayt lets out a squeak of surprise as he hits the hard white ground. But Albel rips at their clothes with his claw and in a few moments, the pain of hitting the ground is replaced with a new pain, but a much better one as their bodies rock together rhythmically.

Balthier eyed Vaan. "Hmmn, you're not so bad, I suppose." Truth be told, the sky pirate is itching to pin the boy against a wall, but there aren't exactly any walls around.

"But, I thought you and Fran-" Vaan begins, confused.

Balthier waves his hand dismissively, scattering the words around him like dust. So, they were written on air after all. Pity. He could really use a wall right now.

Balthier says nothing, but arches his eyebrow elegantly. "Pray, continue, Vaan."

Vaan backs up as Balthier advances and soon they are quite a bit away from the others, still with no end to the whiteness.

"I-" Vaan begins, licking his lips nervously.

Balthier draws Vaan close and kisses him suddenly.

Deidara looks at Sasori worriedly. Sasori wasgiving him a rather evil look. Deidara wished fervently he hadn't tried to appear god. He is evil and that's why he's so powerful. Bad things happen to good people and that's what going to happen shortly.

Sasori pulls Deidara close with some long ropes that Deidara doesn't remember. He grinds his body againt Deidara's and all poor Deidara can do is moan, "Unnnnn."

Outside the little world of white, Peppita is giggling madly as she clutches a small t.v. screen in her hands. "Wow, that went even better than I expected.

Sophia heard the noise and came to see what was going on. Her eyes widened in surprise and she gasped. "Peppita! You're too young to watch that!"

Peppita frowned. 'But they're so hot together."

Sophia took a closer look and realized that Peppita's porn consisted of only men, two of which included Albel and Fayt. 'What have you done!' She shrieked.

'Maria and I created this all by ourselves,' Peppita said proudly, showing off the screen. "It lets us create out own little reality."

'But…Albel and Fayt," Sophia wailed.

"It's okay," Peppita said soothingly. "I just used the clones you made."

"I didn't make clones, I made dolls," Sophia said miserably.

'Well, then…I guess it's the real thing."

"Aaaaagh!' Sophia groaned. 'How can you make them do something so gross?"

'Sex is natural," Peppita said cheerfully. "Besides, they look so cute together. And I found all the cuties from my favorite Tv shows and put them in there too."

'Sex between two men is wrong,' Sophia said firmly. "It's disgusting."

Peppita's cheeks puffed out with indignation and she pointed the screen at Sophia.

Sophia suddenly found herself in the middle of the scene on the screen. Most of the boys wee now lying comfortably on the ground with their partners, although Muraki and Tsuzuki were still going at it.

Balthier was pulling his clothes back on and Vaan was trying to help him, but he kept distracting the sky pirate. Finally, Balthier gently kissed Vaan's hand and said he'd rather dress himself.

Fayt was comfortably snuggled up next to Albel to keep warm. Albel's eyes were closed contentedly as he ran his fingers through Fayt's hair.

"How could you!" Sophia shrieked.

Tsuzuki blinked and glanced over at the scene with wide eyes. Muraki gently recaptured his attention and started nipping Tsuzuki's neck.

Balthier barely spared the girl a glance as he stood and straightened his cuffs. "Do I look acceptable now, Vaan?"

Vaan grinned up at him. 'Dashing as ever, Balthier."

'Albel, you stole my Fayt!' Sophia shrieked, her voice rising to a shrill pitch.

Balthier put his hand over his ear and winced. "Oy, someone shut that girl up before I get a headache."

Albel lazily opened one eye. "Fayt is mine, wench."

Fayt nodded happily and rested his head on Albel's chest.

Sophia started screaming and tears rand down her face. "I can't let you do this! It's just not right! We're supposed to be together."

The hand reappeared and scrawled next to Sophia, 'Yaoi hater".

"Yaoi?' Balthier asked. 'What's that?"

'Sex, between two men," Sasori supplied.

Balthier cracked his knuckles. "I don't think I can abide such behavior from you, young lady."

"Neither can I," Albel growled.

The men rounded on her. Sophia screamed once more as all the men jumped on her and pummeled her and then was silent.

Peppita grinned happily at her new toy and set about adding new things to the environment so she could keep her boys there for a long time.


End file.
